Do You
Feel Like a "Real" Adult?
This
quiz comes from early work with the children from alcoholic/dysfunctional families. This
is often referred to as feeling like a child masquerading as an adult, or being
an Adult Child. The purpose of the questions is to give you a sense of how your
Child’s fears of inadequacy limits your Adult’s point of view. Give yourself a
rating of 0 to 5 for each. Celebrate any that you once knew intimately, and
have long ago left behind!
1.
____ I often
guess at what “normal” behavior would be in social situations; how would a
“real” adult act?
2.
____ I have
difficulty following a project through from beginning to end, especially if
just for myself.
3.
____ I sometimes
lie, or hide my real feelings, when it would be easier to have told the truth.
4.
____ I judge
myself without mercy that I show others. My mistakes seem worse to me than
others’.
5.
____ Just having fun is hard for me. I avoid “fun” events; they
often don’t seem worthwhile.
6.
____ I take
myself way too seriously! People tell me to lighten up, and I don’t know what
that means!
7.
____ I have
difficulty being intimate, relaxed and open in relationships of any kind.
8.
____ When things change suddenly, I often overreact. I feel
helpless or angry, uncertain of what to do.
9.
____ I admit I am
always seeking approval and affirmation, even if I pretend to not need it.
10.
____ I usually
feel I am different from other people. They got the “How to Be a Human
Handbook.”
11.
____ I am super
responsible. OR I am incapable of taking on major responsibilities and screw
up.
12.
____ Loyalty to
others has been my downfall. Even when it’s obviously undeserved, I hang on.
13.
____ I can be
impulsive sometimes: eating, shopping, drugs/alcohol, overly trusting (or lying
to) someone I shouldn’t. This locks me into a course of action that has no “off
ramp.” I don’t see the terrible consequences that could come from this. This
impulsivity has caused confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over my
life, finances, and relationships. I then spend an enormous amount of energy
cleaning up the mess--only to do it again!
It’s time to add up the score. Breathe, okay? The highest you can get is 65, and
that would indicate that you are in Child or Protector mode
much of the time. As the number decreases, it indicates how the Adult is taking
care of each area. Give yourself some extra points for any question that just a
couple of years ago had been a raging 5, and has settled to a kinder, gentler
number!
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